friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
friend: OH MAN
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
are we just going to ignore the fact that the king...
vanehwasreal: timelord-and-fishcustard: vanehwasreal: i mean what what the fuck gustav no stop it gustav please yOU MADE MY POST BETTER
uoa: never give up on your dreams keep sleeping
expectations: I'm just going to take a quick power nap and I'll wake up refreshed and energized
reality: passed out cold for five hours solid, wake up not knowing what day it is or what the last meal you ate was
thefalloutboysareback: sometimes i forget that tumblr isnt the entire internet
square-enix: when teachers leave the cursor right in the middle of the fucking video
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
hey there delilah what’s it like in new york city i’m a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do i installed a camera in your room i’m watching you
methlabrador: acidicmoon: i really wanted to kill this ant but then i realised he was trying really hard to carry this one crumb and he was doing a really good job so i was like “you go buddy, you go” and let him live i think that might be how god feels about me